Yesterday morning I woke in a massive panic. I must have been dreaming of Thanksgiving, & running through my to-do list.
I woke in a full on panic knowing I have of a frozen… rock solid turkey and it was TUESDAY!!! There is no way it would have time to thaw for Thursday’s family supper. I sat down after putting the coffee on and came up with a “Gotta Do list that would take 3 people to complete. Think of it… actually writing legibly B.C. (before coffee). About the time I was half way through my first cup and ready to tackle the stairs to the basement freezer, my daughter text me. Good thing she did because I saw the date flash on my phone & realized Thanksgiving is NEXT Thursday. What a way to start the day! Talk about blood pressure check.
It was my wake-up call.
This past year has seemingly been one of constantly playing catch-up. I couldn’t find my routine blending the house, garden & kids.
We’ve had a few changes and family events which I now know took more of an emotional toll on me than I realized. I was letting others choices control my attitude & taking their bad behavior personally. I thought I was working through & handling what needed dealt with…yesterday morning was a wake-up call in a way…made me realize I’ve kinda shut down, withdrawn and become a bit numb.
This morning has me thinking about letting go of people & burdens that are not mine… things/activities I’ve missed that I enjoy & changes I need to make to blend them back in. Blogging I miss. Although most of my content is nothing earth shattering, it’s mine. I miss it (blogging).
Looking back through here this morning I realized I have little record of this summers garden…what worked, what flopped.
How did I miss an entire garden year?
Well, it is what it is right?
Moving forward from here with a much lighter heart.
Katie
It happens to the best if us......
ReplyDeleteYup, just took me a while to get it together
DeleteOh, my. The situations we women get ourselves in! Although I've still been blogging, it's not been as much as I would like. Why? Because the post you just wrote could almost have been mine. Last night I had an exhausting dream that felt like it lasted all night. It differed from yours in that it wasn't centered around Thanksgiving, but I was in a kitchen (not mine) with a house full of people and I was going crazy preparing this HUGE, elaborate meal (for which I didn't have all the ingredients!) and trying to clean up tons of dishes at the same time. Everyone else in the dream was laughing and playing and having a grand old time . . . and I was going nuts while trying to keep my cool. Can you relate? We women (caregivers, mothers, homemakers) are taught to put the needs of others ahead of our own. Not being true to ourselves (being true to ourselves is so easy to say but difficult to do!) takes a tremendous emotional toll on us. I know there are others in Blogland struggling (may have something to do with the upcoming holiday season!) so I thank you for the thought-provoking post.
ReplyDeleteOh MP, I think you hit the nail on the head. Juggling all those glass balls can go on for only so long before one gets shattered.
DeleteThat was my dad's favourite saying , it is what it is. I'm sure you will find your center again, now that you've noticed it was missing. Life's like that. We get on course, veer off, correct and get on course again. I think it's pretty normal to do that.
ReplyDeleteThanks, I need to be more watchful for that even steady ground
DeleteKatie,
ReplyDeleteWelcome back :-)
Life keeps us very busy, and wrapped up in so many things. Making it hard to juggle the true things we enjoy. Everyone in the family and sometimes outsiders seem to get taken care of first. We (us women) need to take care of ourselves before taking care of others.
Thanks Sandy! Your so right. I will be taking some "me" time in the very near future.
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